Every Little Helps

I have been going to Tesco Metro in Sheffield now for 2 and a half years, in my quest to stay alive through the consumption of food and drink. They say Tesco will take over the country. I don’t know who ‘they’ are, but they do say it, honestly. Before Tesco contemplate nationwide domination though they need to speak to me about a few of their offers. And I’m going to share the best one’s with you, cause I’m really that nice.

1)     Lager

      Allow me to start off with the classic, will you? My friends (both real and of the Facebook variety) may already know this one as I have harped on about it in the past, but it’s a good’un. 4 cans of Carling for £2.99 instead of £3! Alcoholics across South Yorkshire would have been making pilgrimages to Ecclesall Road to stock up on this offer had I alerted them. I presume the NHS weren’t too happy though, because if people know they can save 1 pence per 4 cans, they’re going to binge drink, aren’t they?

I think I went for the 4 cans of Fosters option in the end, to allow those less fortunate than me to take the reduced Carling.

2)      Pate

Pate has a strange accent above either the a or e but I don’t know how to get them up on here. Anyway, fancied some pate today to have on toast instead of Tesco’s wheat biscuits (Weetabix) in the mornings. I was delighted to see it advertised for 59p. Next to it was a boast that it’s the same price as Aldi. Well that’s not telling us anything is it? It’s neither cheaper nor more expensive than budget supermarket Aldi. Surely a supermarket that is going to take over civilisation has bigger fish to fry? I liken it to a modelling agency offering an hour of my services for the same price as an hour of David Beckham’s services.  I wanted to take a photo but I was surrounded by shelf-stockers and feared they’d throw me outside to stand with the singing Big Issue man.

“Good morrrrning, Big Issue, have a nice dayyyy. Good morrrrning, it’s a lovely day, have a nice day sirrrr Big Issue”

3)      Kiwi’s

You can get a box of 6 kiwi’s for £1. In the 2 and a half years i’ve been shopping in Tesco, there’s been a yellow price tag saying ‘£1. SAVE 49P’. It makes me think that Kiwi’s always have been, and always will be, £1.

4)      Tissues

Another cracker here. I’ve been unfortunate to contract the common cold this week. It’s a partially debilitating virus that robs one of their dignity. A box of tissues was in order to cope with the outpoor of what can only be described as snot. The shelf stockers were nowhere to be seen so I can share pictorial evidence with you. And once again, the folk at Tesco have come up with an offer too good to refuse. I managed to get my box of 100 2ply mansize tissues for £1.60. Had my cold arrived a week earlier, who knows, I may have had to pay £1.61?!?!

All week i’ve been counting my lucky stars for the timing of my cold. What a price drop!

5)      Fish fingers

This is my favourite of all. No picture evidence I’m afraid though cause this offer was spotted on a busy Saturday. The fear of standing outside with the Big Issue man must have been at the forefront of my mind again. Anyway, over in the freezer section they had an incredible offer on. Birdseye Fish Fingers. 99p for a box of 10, or two boxes for £2!!! Well, my heart nearly skipped a beat. Thankfully it didn’t cause I wouldn’t be alive to tell the story if it did. What an offer! Fish finger lovers in Sheffield must have had a field day. I didn’t take them up on the offer for some reason, but if I had it would have been a case of...
“Hello duck, can I have these two boxes of fish fingers please, but I want to buy them separately, ya know, to save me 2 pence”

Every Little Helps.