Bye Bye Billy, Welcome Back (sort of) Shteve

This morning I woke up, had some weetabix and turned the television on to see a sports lovers delight; the yellow breaking news strap on Sky Sports News. It’s better than see the ‘lil red box of joy’ on Facebook. The first thing I saw on the rolling strap was Nottingh… In a split second I reminded myself it was the Carling Cup draw, and then prayed to a God that I don’t believe in that the next name was not Derby County. It wasn’t. Playing Forest has turned into a completely unpleasant affair since last season and I, along with many Derby fans who don’t let their pride and bravado get in the way, would rather not play them any more times than the compulsory two league fixtures. What in fact followed was Notts County. The grounds are the closest together in the country (a large goal kick away) and the gangsters that congregate around the Broadmarsh and Victoria shopping centres must already be planning ways in which they are going to be naughty on the match day. If memory serves me correctly there was a fair bit of crowd trouble the last time the teams met a few years ago in a pre-season friendly at Meadow Lane. It has got to be the tie of the round (although Leeds and Bradford fans will probably disagree) and no doubt Sky will pick it up. For those of you reading this and screaming at me that Derby and Forest couldn’t have been drawn together due to a seeding system, I know this now.

The sacking of the poison dwarf, as Billy Davies is affectionately known by the Preston and Derby fans, was a very bold move. There can’t be any doubting that wee Billy knows how to manage a team in the Championship and the last two seasons he took Forest very close to the Premier League. Some dodgy team selection and tactics in the playoff semi-finals proved his downfall. His prowess as a manager does not hide the fact that he is a thoroughly difficult man to work with though. To use one of Billy’s favourite phrases, he was ‘mischief making’ far too often for the board to put up with him anymore. The constant moaning about needing more transfer funds (despite him spending millions whilst in charge), must have been disheartening for the young Forest players who had done so well to get the club around the automatic and playoff spots. If he had shut his mouth a bit and focussed on what he had, he may still be in a job. Having said that, he won’t struggle to get another Championship job, for a year or two anyway, before he gets himself the sack, again.

So what about Forest’s new manager, for he was also appearing on Sky Sports News during my late breakfast? Steve McClaren, or Shteve as he is referred to by myself, is a very shrewd acquisition by the Forest chairmen Nigel Doughty. The reason I, and many others, refer to the former England boss as Shteve is due to his chameleon like approach to life. Wherever he finds himself in the world he adopts his accent (like a chameleon changes the colour of its skin depending on its surroundings). For example when he took over at FC Twente he started talking like a Dutchman (hence the Shteve). In his press conference today he was explaining a story he was telling to the Brazilian fitness coach he is taking with him to Forest. Usually when you tell a conversation as a story, you use your own voice for yourself, and change the accent to signify the other person. Not Steve. Astonishingly, he proceeded to explain Forest’s rivalry with Derby, Leicester and Notts County in a fantastic South American twang. Very humorous.

If you discount his record with England, no-one can doubt McClarens credentials as a manager. He won the Carling Cup with Middlesborough and took them to the UEFA Cup final, an incredible achievement considering the mess they are in now, playing in front of 15,000 people on a good day. He then won the Dutch League with FC Twente and led them to the Champions League. His stint at Wolfsburg was only a short one so it is perhaps unfair to judge this spell; managers need time to settle in (but 2 and a half years is enough settling in time Mr Clough). Aston Villa were about to interview McClaren until their fans did what they do best at the minute, complain. Having said that, the appointment of Alex Mcleish is shocking on every level so with that I can understand complaints. McClaren could have bided his time and returned straight to the Premier League; he would have got a job during this season. So why Forest? Well, in the press conference he listed a few reasons, and a point he made more than once was “This room…It smells of history and tradition”. Someone should take a bottle of Oust (or another brand of air freshener) to the City Ground and get that smell sorted. They should also tell Steve McClaren that the smell of a press room is not a good enough reason to take a job. My bedroom smells of whatever is being cooked in the kitchen below, but I am not convinced that the house was sold purely because of how my room smelt.

I think the point is that Forest are a big club, as much as it pains me to say it, and McClaren is in a very good position to complete a job that Billy couldn’t do. He will go about his business in a much quieter and dignified way. He will take Forest to near the Premier League again. He will also come back to haunt his old club, Derby, because that is generally what happens. Some Forest fans are not happy with the board sacking Billy; I can understand because I was disgusted when our board sacked him. The fact is that Billy has engineered his exit at all of his clubs. I predict two things; Forest will do very well under McClaren, and Forest fans will soon come to dislike Billy as much as the Preston and Derby fans do.

Are we rate, or what?

I used to play 11-a-side football at quite a high level with the high point in my career being trials at Derby County, Leicester City and Nottingham Forest. The trial at the latter club I also see as a low point – one should never betray their morals. I retired from football at the age of 18 when I moved to university. The gloves and boots however were to come out of retirement 3 years later for a spell in the 6-a-side university league. A defeat in the semi finals of the playoffs was hard to take but in my honest opinion, it was a worthy return to the sport; I’ve still got it (at least on the astro). So what about other sportsmen and women of the world, how do their comebacks rate against my triumphant return?

Let’s take Michael Schumacher as the first subject. Not only did my granddad think he was a very handsome man (for a German), he was hailed as the greatest driver of all time by most racing fans when he retired in 2006. The fact he was a 7 times World Champion (2 for Benetton, 5 for Ferrari) made this difficult to disagree with. A bizarre incident in 2009 saw a spring work its way from car to Ferrari’s Felipe Massa’s head. It was dangerously close to being fatal, but thankfully it wasn’t. Nonetheless, it ruled him out of the 2009 season. There was then a clamour for Schumacher to fill in for Massa. A sensational comeback seemed to be going to plan until Schumacher had to rule it out due to a bit of a dicky neck. Dodged a bullet there Michael, I thought at the time, don’t tarnish your record. If the thought of him returning to Ferrari was tarnishing his record, then returning to Mercedes for the 2010 season was the equivalent of smearing the windows with bird poo. The 2010 season saw him fail to win a race, get on the podium, start on pole position, record a fastest lap, or even drive on the right side of the road. It really was a poor comeback. As it stands this season, he is 11^th in the standings with 14 points. Underwhelming. His detractors used to question whether he’d be any good in a less than superior car. We will never really know as he didn’t drive a bad car in his prime, but what his comeback did do is give some people a chance to question his greatness. He didn’t need to do that. He should have continued to pick up the big money being a Ferrari advisor and stayed well away from the driving wheel. Verdict: Silly comeback.

To balance it out, how’s about a successful comeback? Kim Clijsters. The Belgian retired from tennis in 2007. During her first stint, her only Grand Slam win came at the US Open in 2005. She had won 2 WTA Tour Championships and appeared in 4 other Grand Slam finals, but it wasn’t particularly a record that would keep you up at night in amazement. The birth of a baby does strange things to people however. Some women get post natal depression, almost all women change their perspectives in life, and infuriatingly, most people associated with newborn babies have an urge to express how cute the baby is, no matter how ugly they actually are. What the birth of Clijster’s baby did though was make the Belgian a better tennis player. Her Grand Slam return came as a wildcard at Flushing Meadows in 2009, the scene of her 2005 US Open triumph. Amazingly, she won after beating the delightful Dane Caroline Wozniacki to become the first mother to win a Grand Slam since 1980; a pointless stat but one that is often associated with Clijsters. A year later she retained the title; the first genuine woman to do so (Venus Williams did it once in 2001 but I’ll leave it to your discretion as to whether you count that one). Another WTA Tour title followed, before she won the Australian Open in 2011. She is still going strong now. Verdict: Great decision on the comeback, Kim.

Now to a comeback that could have been great, but one that was spoiled by a moment of crazyness. If you hadn’t guessed who I’m on about, then it’s Zinedine Zidane. Zizu, as cool people often refer to him as, never actually retired from all forms of football, just the international form. A World Cup winner in 1998, a European Championship winner in 2000, he had done it all for his country. An injury kept him out of most of the 2002 World Cup but he was forced to play in a must-win match against Denmark to try and get the French through. They lost, and they went home at the group stages. 2004 European Championships, France v Greece. The French were much fancied but lost 1-0 to a Greek side that absolutely no-one will remember in 20 years time. It was at this point Zidane announced his retirement from the international game. Fair play to him as well, abort that sinking ship. A year later though he was to reverse his retirement and in 2006 led France to Germany as captain. He had a great World Cup, scoring important goals (including one in the final), and also picked up the player of the tournament award (before the final – very strange timing). So in extra time, the camera’s picked up on Italy’s Marco Materazzi writhing around on the floor in agony with a sheepish Zidane nearby. “Get up you diving little thing you” was what I remember thinking at the time. Then I saw the replay. Bang. That was the sound of Zidane’s bald head onto Materazzi’s sternum. Must have hurt. This was the end of Zidane’s footballing career; it ended in disgrace and with a three match ban, but as he would never play football again he did three days of community service instead; quite suitable considering it was actually assault. Him and Marco Materazzi, who was believed to have insulted Zidane’s sister, still have a frosty relationship; apparently Zidane would rather die than apologise. Verdict: Could have been a fairytale comeback, if you believe in fairytales.

Lance Armstrong. The best cyclist ever; even better than Sir Chris Hoye who cycled very quickly round a track in 2008 and then found himself on the receiving end of a knighthood. What about Ryan Giggs, why is he not a Sir? Clean living family man who has given his all to his sport for 20 years…  Anyway, Armstrong had very severe cancer in 1996 and the outlook was very bleak for him. He battled through it and won the Tour de France for seven consecutive years and straight after his seventh in 2005, announced his retirement. His comeback was announced in 2008 with the intention of riding in the 2009 Tour de France. In this edition he finished 3^rd, and after four years out this can be seen as a fantastic achievement. His final Tour de France in 2010 wasn’t great; he finished in 23^rd place. So whilst he never reached the heights he reached earlier on in his career, his comeback can be seen as a relative success. The primary reason he came back, according to Armstrong, was to raise awareness for the Armstrong Foundation, so he can’t be faulted for that. Verdict: Heart was in the right place, and didn’t disgrace himself.

Now onto Tiger Woods. Eldrick, as he is referred to in quiz questions, was the best golfer in the history of the world (there is a bit of a theme emerging here isn’t there?) before his naughty exploits came to the forefront of the world. He had achieved everything in golf, and then in November 2009 he achieved the feat of crashing his car into a fire hydrant (common obstacles in the USA). Everything unfolded from there and women Tiger had been “entertaining” were coming out the closet left, right and centre. To cut a long story short he did a typically American over-the-top press conference in which he got very emotional and announced he would be taking a break from golf. After this he shook everyones hand and hugged them; it was as if he was going on a one way trip to outer space. Since he returned in 2010 he hasn’t truly recaptured his form or the World Number 1 ranking, although he did put in a decent performance at the Ryder Cup. It seems as if Tiger was at his best when he had women lined up after a day on the golf course. I’m not sure I can fault him. Verdict: He was always going to return and he will undoubtedly get better.

So sporting comebacks from the worlds best athletes are a bit of a risk. Some pay off (Clijsters, and myself), some backfire (Schumacher), and others are hard to judge (Zidane, Armstrong, Tiger Woods). The difference between Clijsters and the rest though, was that Clijsters was never actually going to go down as a sporting great before she retired the first time, the others were. Her comeback has been terrific. Floyd Mayweather Junior, the best pound-for-pound boxer in the world before he retired (that theme keeps running), has been in talks over returning to the ring to face current best pound-for-pound boxer Manny Pacquiao, but it hasn’t yet happened. My advice Floyd, which you will never get to hear, would be to stay away. Don’t tarnish your reputation. Oh, and if Robbie Savage ever returns to football, it will automatically be a “Verdict: Oh dear”.

French Open Final...sponsored by Nike

Today the two best players in recent tennis history went head to head at Roland Garros to determine the winner of the French Open. Roger Federer v Rafael Nadal. Right hander v left hander. Maestro v power hitter. Grass court specialist v clay court specialist. Red Nike v Blue Nike. Switzerland v Spain. The previous comparisons are just in line with what everyone tends to do when describing a big match; compare as many things as possible, no matter how silly. I decided to draw the line at countries. In reality though it’s not Switzerland v Spain at all; the players would have been thinking more about what they were having for tea rather than the fact they were performing for their respective countries – because they weren’t.

I’m not going to lie (no doubt you feel much more at ease now knowing my next thought will be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth) but I wanted Nadal to win. Federer comes across as quite arrogant on occasions, and whilst I like him, I prefer his younger rival. Listening to the crowd reactions all tournament you could be excused for thinking Roger Federer was French, such was the support he was getting. Novak Djokovic must have wondered what he had done wrong during his semi-final to be so massively cheered against. Did he declare himself anti-French in the build up to the tournament? Was he somehow involved in the murder plot on Coronation Street? No, he was just up against Federer; a massive crowd favourite. France haven’t had much in the way of sporting success recently, so they may just be trying to adopt him as one of their own. I like their approach. When Andy Murray wins something, I will support him as one of our own. Until then he will just be that moody Scotsman. When Andy Murray does finally win something though, I hope my great-great grandchildren are still around to appreciate it.

The greatest player to ever play the sport, Mr Federer, started off on fire (a slightly unfair advantage for Nadal). He broke the Spaniard in the first game, only for Rafa to reply with a break of his own immediately after. Amazingly, Federer broke again to make it 3 games without anyone holding serve. It was looking as if the player who could hold their serve would go on to take the first set. Federer was that man and got a set point at 5-2. A cheeky drop-shot gone wrong cost him that chance however and Nadal finally found fifth gear after messing around in first for the opening 7 games. He won the set 7-5 and he was now the one on fire (at this point I should just reassure you my use of the term ‘on fire’ is metaphorical only; both players were unharmed during the game, apart from a Nadal blister).

The second set saw Nadal’s superiority continue. BBC commentator Andrew Castle summed it up with his slightly pointless “If Roger could take a 10 minute time-out now, he would” statement. The problem is though, ‘if’ is quite a big word. If I could take back my bet of England to be winning at half time and full time yesterday, I would. If my cat barked, he’d be a dog. If Man Utd could restart their Champions League Final against Barcelona, they would do. Actually, they probably wouldn’t. The point is that a 10 minute time out is not in the tennis rules, so Roger couldn’t take a break and Rafa worked his way up to set point.  It was at this point the rain came. The players went off and Rafa stripped off much to the delight of Sue Barker, and all those who admire left biceps. After the rain ceased the players came back out and Federer found his form again, saving the set point and taking it to a tie breaker. My knowledge of the tiebreaker and the next 40 minutes of play was then down to my imagination and the skills of the radio commentary team due to a compulsory car journey. I don’t know if you have ever listened to tennis on the radio, but if you haven’t, it’s tricky to get your head around. The 40 minutes were along the lines of “CROSS COURT BACKHAND…NADAL…LONG…HIT THE LINE…RETURNED…NET!”. Great effort from the commentary team and it was through them I learnt that Federer took the third set 7-5.

Federer was back to his best and at the start of the fourth had three break points against Nadal. Rafa managed to save them all and take the first game and that was the killer blow for Federer’s dreams of a comeback. Rafa took the fourth set 6-1 with some vintage shots. An overhit Federer forehand saw Nadal drop to his knees and celebrate his 6^th French Open title in what was a great game and a fantastic performance from the Spaniard.

So that was the match. How about a point of contention? Numerous times throughout the match when a line judge’s call looked questionable, the ref left his high chair, walked over to the scene of the crime, stuck his finger up much like a cricket umpire, and repositioned himself in his high-tech chair. Not once was a decision overturned by this rather medieval method. What I cannot get my head around is that when a ball is travelling at a 100mph consistently, thousands of times in a match, it’s quite futile to point to a bit of a marking on the clay as proof of a decision. If it was a court case, it would get thrown out for insufficient evidence. Had the competition took advantage of hawk-eye, some calls would have undoubtedly been overturned, but it was quite refreshing to watch 20th century methods being employed. As a viewer there was more of a certainty that if a shot was called out, it was out. I like that. I didn’t particularly miss the clapping countdown of the crowd in anticipation of a computer generated ball either.

Rafael Nadal confirmed his dominance on clay and kept his place as World Number 1 with a 6^th title at the French Open. Roger Federer showed at times, particularly in the first half of the first set, that his reputation as the greatest ever was warranted. Djokovic’s amazing unbeaten run came to an end against the Fed Express in the semis and Andy Murray showed again that he will never beat one of the top seeds in a grand slam. All in all a very good tournament. Bring on Wimbledon. Come on Tim…on the commentary. 

A week in sport, minus football

So in a slight change of topics, football will not be discussed in this blog. Instead the topics of discussion are Formula 1, tennis, cricket, and how to cook a pheasant. The latter is not actually a part of this blog, but if any of you know how to cook a pheasant please get in touch because there’s one sitting on my table waiting to be eaten.

Let’s start with a bit of Formula 1 then shall we? The Monaco grand prix on Sunday was one of the most dramatic of the season. A crash in qualifying left young Sergio Perez in desperate need of a hospital. Thankfully he got to one and is recovering. The main race saw Sebastien Vettel, Fernando Alonso and Jenson Button battling it out to win the race. Vettel’s tyres were on meltdown and Button was close to catching him in what was shaping up to be a thrilling last 6 laps. Then a Vitaly Petrov crash led to the race being stopped for quite a while. The pit crews went to work on the track, Vettel got some new tyres, the race restarted, and he won with ease. Petrov was ok too, if you were wondering. The race also saw a coming together of Lewis Hamilton’s Mclaren and Felipe Massa’s Ferrari. It looked to the naked and relatively untrained eye that it was typical reckless driving from the young Brit; a style of driving that has made him so interesting to watch, and a style that livened up the sport when he made his sensational debut season back in 2007, missing out on the Championship title by a point. The stewards agreed with my amateur view that it was Hamilton’s fault for the crash. This left a fuming Hamilton to give a feisty interview to the BBC. Lewis Hamilton is proud to be black; his main idols are Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela and his dad, and before his Championship title in 2008 he was quoted as saying that to win a World Championship would show that it’s not just white people who can do it. In reality, it was only a matter of time before he played the race card (no pun intended), and he did this during the feisty BBC interview. “Maybe it’s because I’m black” was the answer he gave when asked why he kept getting called up to the stewards. Maybe Lewis, but maybe it’s nothing to do with that and more to do with the fact you do silly things? And in reference to showing that more than white people can win the Championship, I was always under the impression that to win the World Championship you have to drive your car the quickest consistently, rather than be a certain colour. But what do I know?

Had enough of F1 yet? How about a spot of tennis then? The French Grand Slam at Roland Garros got underway last week. It’s now at the quarter and semi-final stages with all the big dogs still in the men’s draw  still in. Roger Federer has been foolishly overlooked by many for this tournament due to the dominance of Rafael Nadal on clay, and the dominance of Novak Djokovic in all things tennis. The big Serb has not lost a match for longer than I care to remember (BBC Sport informs me he won the last 43 matches), but he will face the Fed Express in the semi’s in what should be a thriller. If all goes to form the other semi final will be contested between Andy Murray and Rafael Nadal. The hugely cheerful Murray is carrying a bit of a knock on his ankle, but completed a thrilling comeback over fourth round opponent Victor Troicki. The pundits have been commenting on the fact he appeared to be in a bad mood during that match. Can you believe it? Andy Murray, in a bad mood? Next you will be telling me that the Pope is actually a Catholic. In the woman’s side of the draw, World Number 1 Caroline Wozniacki got knocked out early on. The young Dane still hasn’t won a Grand Slam, but there’s always a future in modelling for her I’m sure if a Grand Slam still eludes her in a few years time. Speaking of models, soon to be married Maria Sharipova screamed her way into the semi-final earlier today. To tell you the truth (because most people like the truth) her high pitched squealing after every shot is not conducive for blog writing. It looks like hard work for all the players out there in the heat on the clay courts. Clay courts look very unappealing to me; very dirty. One thing is for sure, if you dropped your food on a clay court, the 3-second rule would have to be abandoned. There’s no recovering food with dirty clay stuck to it.

Finally in this whistle stop tour of sport, I move to the cricket. Never before has a positive result looked so unlikely. The final day of the first test match of the summer, much like the previous four, saw rain. England were still on their first innings with South African Jonathan Trott playing a usually dull but massively effective, and in the end, match winning innings. England declared in the afternoon 92 runs in front, causing Michael Vaughan to tweet about it being a pointless 2 hours left. Oh Michael how you were wrong. After the playoff final finished I switched over to see Sri Lanka were 58-8 with Graeme Swann on fire (not literally though, don’t worry). Minutes later, in front of almost no-one in the crowd, England wrapped up the win thanks to a Chris Tremlett short ball. Sri Lanka will be metaphorically kicking themselves, England will be literally patting each other on the backs, and the ECB will be under pressure to review having Cardiff as a test match venue. It can’t be faulted for drama; the first Ashes match of 2009 saw massive squeaky bum time when England batted out the last day for a draw, and this match just gone saw even greater drama. What it didn’t see though was supporters, and that’s a problem.

So that’s the round up of sport this week. Hope you have enjoyed it, and if you haven’t, I suggest you just stick to ‘The week in sport’ segment on Sky Sports News. I wouldn’t blame you either; Georgie Thompson is very good at her job…