Cardiff City, mainly....

Coca-Cola. J2O. Wine. Hugo Boss aftershave. Cardiff City. Have you guessed the connecting word yet? There may be more than one, but the correct answer is ‘bottle’. The former four products have bottle, Cardiff City simply do not. The perennial bottle jobs. Last night seemed like the 400^th time Cardiff have failed to do what the world of football thought they would do. 2006/07 they were at the top of the table for a significant period of time – finished 13^th. 2008/09 they spent the majority of the season occupying a playoff place – lost on the last game of the season and finished 7^th. Last season – lost in the playoff final despite being ahead twice. A Wolves supporting friend of mine will tell you it is simply Dave Jones’ fault. He bottled it spectacularly as Wolves manager in the 2001/2002 season. 11 points clear over West Brom with 9 to play; ended up losing in the playoff semi-finals. I’m sure you’ll agree; that takes some doing. The flaw to the ‘Dave Jones is the reason’ argument is that he got them promoted via the playoffs the next year.

So what about this season? I think expectation was the downfall of the Bluebirds. Any Championship team that signs Craig Bellamy needs both a very good cover story as to how they can afford him, and instant promotion. They achieved neither in my opinion. How they were allowed Bellamy in the first place is beyond me. From financially crippled, to having one the Premiership’s best and probably highest earners players. That’s like Rosie Huntingdon-Whitely leaving her rich and famous lover (if she has one) to spend the rest of her life with me, just because she has a fondness for the Derbyshire countryside. It is at this point I should note I do not have a clue who the woman is I have just mentioned, she was simply used as she is apparently the sexiest woman on the planet according to FHM. Bellamy is not the best on the planet, but you know where I’m coming from.

Bellamy didn’t play last night, but a team possessing him, England international Jay Bothroyd, Jason ‘had the potential to be brilliant’ Koumas, Michael ‘Geordie til I die but will sign for Sunderland and celebrate when I score for them against Newcastle’ Chopra, and Arsenal starlet Jay Emmanuel Thomas should not even need the playoffs to go up. Something is consistently going wrong at Cardiff. They could be great, but they fall at the final hurdle every time. Credit where credits due to Reading though, they were fantastic last night. Shane Long is a player (nothing like stating the obvious). Brian McDermott comes across well too. The sort of man you could introduce to your friends and they’d say “Oh, he is such a lovely man” after his exit. I like Reading. They have come from nowhere, and best of luck to them at Wembley.

Stephen Bywater helped put them on their way to Wembley it must be said by kicking the ball straight at Mr Long despite having acres of space to kick it anywhere but. A year or two ago I would have stuck my neck out, and I often did, to argue he was the best keeper in the Championship, but I think I’ll keep my neck in from now on. What he has done for Derby deserves a lot of respect and he will always be one of my favourites. I have tweeted him twice to explain such things. He replied on both occasions. Both times included his favourite phrase ‘Get your rat out!’ as well as ‘COYR’ (that is Come On You Rams to you lucky people who don’t support Derby). To say he is an interesting character would perhaps be an understatement. He has now returned to Derby but I can’t see him ever playing for us again due to a fall out with Clough. Best of luck in the future Stephen, and get your rat out.

So, as much as I wanted to see a Cardiff Swansea final, despite disliking both of the teams massively, it’s a Reading Swansea final, after Swansea overcame my least favourite team to play in Red, and also my least favourite team full stop. Fair play to Forest though. They came back very spirited in the second half. Their fans sounded amazing as much as it pains me to say which no doubt spurred them on to almost level the scores. Had Robbie Earnshaw been playing the whole match they might have won the match. Even Billy Davies was magnanimous in defeat, something that is rarely seen. Forest did well to overcome a horrific slump in form and finish in the playoffs, but ultimately ran out of luck. Hopefully next season they’ll be made to work harder for their 6 points against the Rams. I even had 50p on Forest to get promoted along with Huddersfield and Shrewsbury. That lost so I’m now living off scraps out of peoples bins in Sheffield. I’m almost sounding like a Forest sympathiser, but i’m not. Mark my words, I woke the child up next door when Darren Pratley scored the decisive goal from half way. My thoughts on the playoff final itself? Well you’ll have to wait until May 30^th for that. In that time you could possibly walk to Australia, although I’d advise a plane. My point is the gap is too long between semi and final; those poor footballers want a holiday, you know?